How a Humble Heart Will Draw Your Spouse Closer

How a Humble Heart Will Draw Your Spouse Closer

Humility might not be the first attribute that comes to mind when you consider closeness in marriage.  However, if you consider how close Jesus was to His Father and disciples, then you can see how a humble heart can make all the difference.

Jesus had no difficulty with pride or fear. But in marriage this can often be a struggle, unless we live and lead like Jesus.

It might be that pride causes us to speak before we think. (Not all the time, but sometimes, right?)  There have also been times in our marriage when a fear of appearing less than great has triggered an angry response. (Maybe just a little?) And there have been days when we didn’t want to hear what our spouse had to say, because we were so very sure we had the right answer. (And we wanted to be heard!)

Sound familiar?

Pride and Fear. They’re the opposite of a humble heart, and they push our spouse away. When we allow pride or fear to surface in our interaction with our spouse, it drives a wedge into the relationship.

If you want the relationship with your spouse to be more intimate, deeper, and to be able to share your joys and sorrows with ease, then learn to live and lead like Jesus. Have a humble heart. Jesus never let pride or fear divide Him from His Father, or His disciples.

How do spouses interact with a humble heart?

Quick to listen. If you interact with a humble heart, your spouse will trust you to listen intently when issues arise, or she/he has ideas or suggestions. That trust will draw you closer together.

Slow to speak. If you interact with a humble heart, your spouse will treasure your words, as you only speak the truth in love. For love is kind and does not envy or parade itself. (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Slow to anger. If you interact with a humble heart, your spouse will be secure in his/her life with you, particularly if your reactions are out of love, rather than a reaction out of fear or pride.

Your spouse will find it easier to draw closer to you, and you’ll create a stronger bond, if you live and lead like Jesus – with with a humble heart. Because, with a humble heart you’ll be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19 NIV) 

Prayer: Jesus, thank You for demonstrating a humble heart, for showing us what it looks like to draw closer together in marriage by being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Please strengthen our marriage and help us to interact with each other today with a humble heart. In Your name we pray, amen.



Robert and Lori Ferguson

Robert & Lori Ferguson are best friends who have been married for 30-plus years. Their mission is to encourage husbands and wives to lead meaningful lives. Read more at

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