How Husbands and Wives Can Lead Effectively Through Change

How Husbands and Wives Can Lead Effectively Through Change

There’s nothing as constant as change – but change strikes us all differently.

Some of us adapt quickly, moving forward effectively when changes appear. Others need time to process the change. Still others focus obsessively on the expenditure of resources needed to manage the change.

What happens to a husband and wife team when faced with change?

Just because two people are married, doesn’t mean they manage that change identically. They still need to lead their family, their business, or ministry through that change.

How can a husband and wife weather the winds of change – together – and lead like Jesus?

Habits rooted in God’s love make all the difference.

Husbands and wives have a unique opportunity as leaders; they can share in the burdens of change by encouraging each other.

  • Couples can encourage each other to make time for solitude – to get away from every distraction and open themselves up to hear from God. Jesus often went away from the crowds and His disciples to seek solitude.

  • Husbands and wives can pray together. Prayer is a positive action to bring feelings of concern and discomfort out into the open and share with the One who can make a difference. A spouse can’t solve all the problems connected with change, but God can. Jesus spent hours in prayer, alone and with His disciples.

  • Couples can speak Scripture over each other. They can remind each other of what the Word of God has to say about situations. Jesus was well-versed in Scripture.

  • Husbands and wives have daily opportunities to grant grace to each other, modeling Christ’s example. They also can become experts in forgiveness – for each other and themselves. Change leaves a lot of room to make mistakes. What a joy it is to see husbands and wives leading through change, rooted in Christ-like love! Jesus was the ultimate change-agent, as He led a change so effectively that it challenged religious and governmental systems and values. Yet He remained steadfast in granting grace, ultimately paving the way for forgiveness of all our sins through His death.

  • Couples can encourage each other through the changes. Encouragement is much more than empty “rah-rah.” Encouraging your spouse provides hope, strengthens their faith, expresses love without condition, lifts them up with prayer and becomes the extra support they need. Jesus was always available to encourage His disciples. He gave them hope by promising He would return. He validated their faith in God the Father, He loved them without condition, and He prayed for and with them as encouragement.

Leading through change can feel awkward and lonely. Change can feel overwhelming and draining. But husbands and wives can find ways to overcome these issues together – if they remain rooted in God’s love and encourage each other to use Jesus as an example — and lead like Him.

Exploring Habits

In the Lead Like Jesus Encounter, the above “being” and “doing” habits are explored in detail, with transformational exercises.

Perhaps one of the best ways to prepare for change is to participate in an Encounter with your spouse. Maybe invite a group of your couple-friends to join you in a Lead Like Jesus Encounter. On a personal note, we’ve experienced an Encounter with four other couples. Not only was it a valuable experience to get to know each other, we also grew together as a group and as leadership couples.

Leadership is influence. Wouldn’t it be powerful if you and your spouse and your married friends could use these habits, rooted in God’s love, to influence positive change in others as you all move through change?



Robert and Lori Ferguson

Robert & Lori Ferguson are best friends who have been married for 30-plus years. Their mission is to encourage husbands and wives to lead meaningful lives. Read more at

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