In 1982, the British rock band the Clash released a song that asked Should I stay, or should I go? While its backstory (meaning) has never been clearly defined, it is agreed that the song’s lyrics describe the decision-making process and frustrations we experience in our relationships. At its core, the song describes the uncertainty and doubts experienced by the band members during its period of internal conflicts fumed by poor relationships and drug use.
We all experience moments of uncertainty. We ask is this the right job when we don’t get a promotion. We ask is this the right church when we don’t feel as connected as we once did. We ask if this is the right relationship when things become stagnant, routine or we experience disagreement. Often, uncertainty is really the agony associated with doubt. It is the queasiness, that feeling in the pit of our stomach or soul, which tells us something isn’t right. We question every event looking for deeper motives, every comment looking for deeper meaning, and every decision looking for the perfect solution, or guarantee, to our problem.
Sometimes, so unsure about what we should do, we become paralyzed, unable or unwilling to take any action. You may have heard this described as “like deer in headlights,” moments when we become stuck. We know that something needs to be done but are overwhelmed by what we should do. We become a “flight risk.” Flight risk refers to the possibility that we (or someone else) will leave for a better opportunity somewhere else, or for other personal reasons, primarily because of difficulties in current situations (job, relationship, etc.). It is during these times that we are at our most vulnerable and often make our worst decisions.
Jesus knew this feeling well. It crept up on him one night, in the Garden of Gethsemane when for a moment He was overcome by the events leading to His crucifixion. In that moment, He prayed (Matthew 26:42): “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.” He experienced it again when crucified and near death, He asked (Matthew 27:46): “My God. My God, why have you forsaken me?”
We may be tempted to believe that we experience difficulties, and threaten to become a flight risk, because our uncertainty and doubt are indicators of insufficient hope or faith. Though Jesus also experienced these, I doubt (no pun intended) you’d find many arguing Jesus lacked faith. But in our search for answers, we may pray, as did the apostles, for an to increase our faith (Luke 17:5). However, Steven J. Cole, former pastor at Flagstaff Christian Fellowship, citing Luke 17:6 reminds us:
“Faith is not measured by its quantity, but simply by its presence.”
So if faith isn’t the answer, what is? First let’s be clear, faith is always a part of the answer, it’s just not the only answer part of the answer. How we interpret faith can lull us into a false sense of security. Author April Motl reminds us that:
“Sometimes, as Christians, we think that having faith means we don’t feel the reality of the circumstances we are going through. As if having a heavenly perspective equates not seeing or feeling things in the moment because we are so fixed on heaven that earthly matters don’t affect us.”
Have you ever experienced a leader that asked for faith and trust even though they had not earned it? It is as though we should have faith just because. It just isn’t likely to happen, we expect a history that supports the level of faith and trust required. James 2:26 tells us that: “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”
To quote American broadcaster Paul Harvey, it’s time for “the rest of the story.” To avoid becoming a “flight risk” both faith and deeds are required. Sometimes though, instead of hunkering down or preparing for battle, the deed may be as simple as “being still” (Psalm 46:10), a simple act of obedience, a simple act of surrender. Still have doubts? Consider this, when praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus expressed His uncertainty, doubts and perhaps fear but He completed His prayer (Matthew 26:42) by proclaiming: “not my will but let your will be done.”
It may seem counter-intuitive, but being still isn’t a passive act. It is the deep exercise in the faith that God has a plan and knows what the best action is to fulfill His purpose for us. Being still is a time for prayer and asking for guidance. Being still isn’t easy; it requires commitment. James 1: 6-8 (NLT) tells us:
“But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waiver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”
To lead like Jesus, you have to know when to be still. So, the next time you ask, “Should I stay or should I go?” the answer may be to look up and remember His answer: “Be still and know that I am God.”
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Gilbert Camacho serves as President, Organizational Leadership Solutions, a management consulting firm, based in Melbourne, Florida. Gilbert is a certified Lead Like Jesus Facilitator with extensive leadership experience in the private, public and non-profit sectors. He has been a contributing author to the Lead Like Jesus Blog for almost 3 years writing monthly on such issues as servant leadership, accountability, trust and integrity. Gilbert s a sought-after Speaker, Trainer, and Executive Coach. Gilbert is a Registered Shared Neutral (Mediator) with the State Supreme Court of Georgia. He recently retired an Associate Director for the Human Resources Office at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia. Gilbert has been married to his best friend, Annie, for almost 40 years. Together they have raised two beautiful daughters, Holley and Logan.
