They exist in every aspect of your life: work, home, school and, regrettably, at church. They are gossipers, rumor mongers and liars. They steal, cheat, and take credit for the work of others. The Bible refers to them as “the children of the wicked one (Matthew 13:38).” The 1972 R & B song “Back Stabbers” (O’Jays, 1972) describes them:
“They smile in your face,
All the time, they want to take your place.
The Back Stabbers”
“Backstabbers are motivated by envy, bitterness, and hatred, and they care nothing for the consequences of their actions. Their only goal is to hurt someone else – often innocent people who have done nothing wrong.” They cause trouble and then, like mist on the water, they disappear. Unfortunately, the harm they cause is often left behind.
The enemy isn’t always lurking in the shadow, sometimes they’re hiding in plain sight. They aren’t always strangers; sometimes we know their names. Sometimes, we forget the warning (1 Peter 58, CEV):
“Be on your guard and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack.”
We can usually prepare and protect ourselves from backstabbers. It is easier to anticipate the betrayal of a backstabber when they aren’t someone we know. We don’t usually expect those close to us to betray us, but we aren’t immune to them. Can you imagine how Jesus felt knowing that Judas, a disciple, would betray him?
I’ll bet that at some point, you’ve said to yourself, “I should have seen that coming.” If we are honest, we must admit that we often ignore the warning signs, often for our own convenience. Even Judas provided indications of this true nature. Judas was the “treasurer,” in charge of the disciple’s funds, he was also a thief (John 12:6 and John 13:29). According to Christianity.com, Judas was described as someone that used his position “for his own personal gain.”
It isn’t always possible to protect ourselves from the “children of evil,” but there are steps and actions that we can take to mitigate their damage. We aren’t helpful victims, but it is easy to get lost in wanting “to get back” at those that harm us. So, what can we do to protect ourselves? I believe that we can create a framework with some (not so easy) steps to not only mitigate the effects of the “Backstabbers,” but also help us from unintentionally becoming one:
- Forget about “payback.”
It’s easy to want to fall into the old, “eye for an eye” mindset, (Matthew 5:38, NLT) but we are also reminded in Romans 12:17-19, NLT:
“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”
Thinking about, and even planning, retribution causes you to expend energy better used to meet your goals. It allows the enemy to take up space in your heart, mind and soul. In the end, the actions that you choose speak more to your character than theirs. There is “One” better suited and more qualified to address it (Leviticus 19”18 and Romans 12:19-21).
- Don’t blame yourself or take responsibility for the choices or actions of others.
Often our initial response is to question or blame ourselves: What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Remember, it’s about them and their behavior; it may be difficult to accept but it’s not about you. American psychologist and author, Susan Jeffers reminds us:
“Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself. Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim. Don’t make yourself a victim of yourself!”
- Stay in your lane.
“Staying in your lane” simply means, “mind your own business.” While it may sound harsh, it is the sound Biblical advice found in 1 Thessalonians 11-12, ERV:
“Do all you can to live a peaceful life. Mind your own business, and earn your own living, as we told you before. If you do these things, then those who are not believers will respect the way you live. And you will not have to depend on others for what you need.”
- Clarify your goals and define success.
“Success isn’t just about competing; it’s also about staying in your lane and setting reasonable expectations for yourself without compromising on quality work or values.”
Challenge: Despite our best efforts, there will be times that we will face trouble and have to deal with those that seek harm to us, or those we love. The task is to keep our hands on the wheel but let God steer. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us: “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Can you share your strategy to help keep focused and grounded in God’s purpose?
Gilbert Camacho serves as President, Organizational Leadership Solutions, a management consulting firm, based in Melbourne, Florida. Gilbert is a certified Lead Like Jesus Facilitator with extensive leadership experience in the private, public and non-profit sectors. He has been a contributing author to the Lead Like Jesus Blog for almost 3 years writing monthly on such issues as servant leadership, accountability, trust and integrity. Gilbert s a sought-after Speaker, Trainer, and Executive Coach. Gilbert is a Registered Shared Neutral (Mediator) with the State Supreme Court of Georgia. He recently retired an Associate Director for the Human Resources Office at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia. Gilbert has been married to his best friend, Annie, for almost 40 years. Together they have raised two beautiful daughters, Holley and Logan.
