Today you are invited to shift your attitude towards people who trigger you. Rather than giving power to the behavior of people around you to toss you into negative emotions and actions, see and believe the best in others and watch what happens.
Do you see the best in others? How often do you see people for who they desire to be rather than how their behavior shows up?Â
 “Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.” 1 Peter 2:12
“But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior” 1 Peter 1:15
In our last blog we explored Jesus’ requirement for following Him: denying ourselves, lose sight of, forget oneself and our own interests. Why is this important? Because Jesus knows that the root of all unhappiness stems from selfishness. Joy returns each time we forget about ourselves, seek God and love others.
We continue this focus of thinking less of ourselves and more of others which involves the second phase of Emotional Intelligence in Christ: Self-Control. The flesh gets triggered very easily into envy and jealousy. Its identity is fueled by insecurity which results in judgement of others and defensive, reactive behaviors. Keep watch, for where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (James 3:16). Many teams within organizations have been hijacked into this self-centered zone resulting division and strife.
Because the brain is wired to protect us, anytime we allow for random thinking about circumstances it will naturally tune into potential threats (primal brain). Making assumptions and conclusions around why people are doing what they are doing flows from the “bottom up” thinking (primal brain). Perhaps this is why Paul suggests that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:1-2) and taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
As God would have it, empathy comes from the pre-frontal cortex as does self-control, in terms of the location in the brain. Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of another person. The fruit of the Spirit: kindness and compassion are linked to empathy. Self-control is the last fruit of the Spirit which ignites the other fruits to life in our behaviors. Without self-control our ability to believe the best in others, to see things from a place of generous assumptions and love is impossible because our flesh overrides our efforts.
God calls us to love one another as He loves us…WHAT? Yes, and that is a job for Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit (self-control) within us. God loves us when we are irritable, cranky and rude. Whatever God calls us to, He is faithful and will give us the ability to do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24). Ask for the fruit of kindness, compassion and self-control (ability to control and manage your impulses) before you run into a human being at the beginning of the day and throughout the day and watch what happens.
Take Action:
I recently heard that if you believe the best in others, it gives God the opportunity to work on that person’s heart. Pray for those who trigger you. We can’t expect God to change someone’s heart if we are not being accountable to God in our own response to others. When we do things God’s way with the fruit of the Holy Spirit in and through us, that’s what opens the door for God to transform them. See people the way you want to be seen. Sometimes you’re cranky, hungry, angry, lonely, tired or sick. The next time you run into a cranky or frustrated human being pause and pray: Dear Lord, help me to see the best in this person. To see them as You see them: for who they DESIRE to be rather than how their behavior shows up.Â
Be kind because God calls you to be kind, not because people are kind to you.
Take our Biblical DISC® Assessment and discover how you can see the best in yourself and others!
Lauren E Miller, M.Ed, MSC, ICF-PCC
As a stress relief expert, award winning author, motivational speaker, HRD trainer, Edge God In podcast host, and certified executive and life coach, Lauren facilitates fun process driven programs with guidance, support and accountability creating positive sustainable behavioral change in business and personal life.
Lauren has worked in youth and adult ministries for over 30 years. Through God’s mercy, grace and strength, she uses her experience simultaneously conquering two of life’s top stressors: cancer and divorce to help others destress and successfully move through challenges.
Happily, remarried and gratefully enjoying life in Colorado with a loving husband, three grown children and two grandchildren, Lauren is often found in the kitchen dancing to her favorite worship music or rolling around on the floor with her two dogs.
Lauren holds a Masters in Adult Education with a Certification in Human Resources Development | Advanced Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Basic & Master Certification | Faculty Shift Leadership Training | Master Sherpa Executive Coach (MSC) and ICF Certification PCC | 2nd degree blackbelt World Tae Kwon Do
Lauren has produced 8 CD’s and five 3 minute/30 day Audio/Visual Personal Excellence/Wellness Programs. She has authored 9 books, 3 of which are Award Winning:
- Hearing His Whisper…with every storm Jesus comes too
- 99 Things You Want To Know Before Stressing Out!
- Stop Letting the World Be the Boss of You! 25 Solutions to Refresh Your Identity in Christ
Edge God In Podcast: http://EdgeGodIn.com
