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If you’ve ever wondered if you are living the best in Christ-filled relationships, you might consider digging deeper into factors that build these. Understanding awareness, discernment, emotions, and renewal helps identify our tendencies toward adverse behaviors that require the support of the Holy Spirit.


Awareness, for instance, plays a big part in our ability to perceive, feel, or be mindful of events. It is an awakening process giving us focused attention and observation, allowing us to be more conscious of the critical elements in our relationships that need Christ’s attention. Lack of awareness has proven to be a significant obstacle and a contributor to a failed relationship with Christ.

Proverbs 4:7 tells us that “… and with all thy getting get understanding (KJV),” or, Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding (KJV).” 

A relationship with Christ takes us understanding and acting on behaviors so that God would empower us through prayer and the Scripture. But we can’t do this on our own.

John 14:26 (ESV) tells us “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

You see, the activation of the Holy Spirit helps us develop and act on things as God would have us do. When we ask God to activate His Holy Spirit within us, we become emotionally intelligent in Christ, living in the awareness of Him and He in us.


Discernment is another factor that works through the activation of the Holy Spirit, helping us know what is true and what isn’t. In the Christian context, discernment helps us with perception in the absence of judgment to obtain spiritual direction and understanding.

Matthew 7:1–2 (NKJV) says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

It is difficult not to judge or be persuaded by men, and we can verify this in the Scripture.

Galatians 1:10 (NKJV) reminds us “For do I persuade men or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I please men, I should not be the servant of Christ.”

God tells us that pleasing men means not being a servant of Christ. To understand what is expected of us, we must stay in God’s Word leaning on the discernment given to us by God to identify what He would have for us and what relationships He wants us to have with others. Authentic Christ-filled living is based on sound Biblical teaching and is without compromise.


Emotion must be guided by Christ to develop and maintain Christ-filled relationships.

Emotion is a natural, instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. It is also an instinctive or intuitive feeling distinguished from reasoning or knowledge. Emotions come with great intensity and are challenging for most of us in relationships.

James 1:19–20 (NKJV) “My beloved brothers, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” 

This Scripture tells us that we must let the Holy Spirit guide how we are to act out our emotions. Doing this in a Christ-filled way authenticates our understanding of the truth found in God’s Word. We must learn to manage our emotions through the strong principles laid out in the Bible.

Exodus 4:12 (NKJV) “Now therefore, go, and even I will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say.” 

We don’t need to worry about what we are to say or how we react as we are created in God’s image. Christ’s relationships take our identifying ways to maximize emotion control and activate His Holy Spirit to help support ourselves and others.


Renewal is the last area of focus, and it is continuous as we work toward a Christ-filled life. While in the renewal, we are constantly replacing or repairing something worn out, run-down, or broken. It is the state or process of being made spiritually new among Christians in the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 2:16 (KJV), “For he hast known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.”

Our focus on renewal and new life with God should not be left to when we were born again or took our first acceptance of Christ. We have to make a fresh start in our walk with God daily. Making changes to our lives is difficult, so instead of focusing on improving ourselves, think about how God is improving us as we continue to read and stay in His Word. Once this is done, the renewal process becomes sustainable, and a natural form of change in Christ occurs.

Isaiah 43:18–19 (KJV), “Remember ye, not the former things, neither consider the things of old, Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Renewal is the fundamental key to letting go of the former you. This engagement with self and Christ requires us to put Biblical teaching into practice. A Christ-filled life starts with Bible teachings and learning from the experiences of, and modeling the behavior of an Emotional Intelligence Christ. We must work to adapt the behaviors that Jesus did when He walked this earth. Adopting these behaviors means listening to His teaching and letting His life be an example of what we are to do or not to do.

A Christ-filled life takes us spiritually developed in awareness, discernment, emotions, and renewal. We must live our lives as Christ did, in love, by reading His Word and asking Him to activate His Holy Spirit in us. When we start reading God’s Word with prayer and meditation, He will open us up to all that is needed to build Emotional Intelligence in Christ relationships.

Get your Biblical EIQ Assessment and see what your Emotional Intelligence in Christ is.

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