“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough”
“Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up”
The above lines are from one of the songs of gospel artist Lauren Diagel. The lines clearly bring into reality the battles we fight, coming from within us.
Love for ourselves is very natural. Jesus, knowing that it is normal for a man to love himself, has commanded us to love our neighbors like ourselves (Mathew 22:38).
Self-hatred is personal self-loathing or hatred of oneself, or low self-esteem which can lead to self-hurt.
We have a world filled with selfish people; many, driven by excessive love for themselves. How strange does it feel to remind us that we are also living with many people who despise the life they live; are strangers to self-love; are stricken with low self-esteem and sometimes in loneliness, deprive themselves of life.
We have people all over the world and also around us that we tagged “Unlovable.” People give in to many bad and miserable things which prompts us to think they are not worthy of love and sometimes life. We judged them by saying:
- Lock them up!
- Kill them, they deserve to die!
- They must be prosecuted!
This situation is logically normal. What happens when a person thinks he or she is not deserving of love? What happens when that criminal thinks he is not worthy of mercy? He sees himself as a monster who has caused pain to many and shouldn’t be allowed to live.
Ella hates herself for the fact that she was born crippled and Erica blames herself for her parents’ divorce. These dark pictures from their past threatens to steal their peace and love for themselves.
Many voices are fighting against us. It is worse when sometimes these negative voices come from within and not just from others. It’s easier to fight negativity when it comes from others and more difficult when it comes from within. This happens most times through the manipulation of our thoughts and hearts by the devil. Thereby making many edge-God-out (EGO) of the traumatic situation.
We are not perfect, but the devil does everything possible to keep us blind from beholding the perfection we can attain through Christ Jesus. His light drives all shades of darkness. – John 1:5.
“The devil who is always indefatigable when it comes to making efforts to holding men hostages of their past, will keep initiating strategies to get at us. One of his silent weapons is depression, an outcome of frustration, oppression, low self-esteem and a dilapidated self-image”. – Patience Moses
When your past keeps attacking you, here are some questions to give thought to:
- Why on Earth will I develop hatred towards ‘Me’?
- Why think of myself as a worthless and unlovable person?
- Why haunt myself because of my past life?
- Why hate myself because of what someone did to me?
- Why hate myself when I am loved by the Lord who tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made?
Guilt from past life and mistakes you have made should not remain in you, haunting and tormenting your present and threatening your future. As good as feeling guilty and remorseful could be in helping acknowledge sins and the need for salvation, it is not right to continually dwell in the past that is long gone and forgotten by the Lord. The Lord doesn’t hold your past against you. He is not mad at you. Rather, He is strongly in love with you. The work of Jesus on the cross of Calvary was FINAL.
So, what now?
Arise and Shine in God’s love, though darkness seems to cover your face, know that he is the light that shines from within you. (Isaiah 60:1-2)
That CEO in you can rise again, that skillful musician in you can come alive, that responsible parent is still alive in you to raise godly children. God is making all things new and you will see it as you daily trust in Him.
Spend some time in Solitude with Him, share your fears and weakness with Him and let Him help you lead like Jesus, the greatest role model of all time.
Finally meditate on this scripture God himself says to you “…Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, with loving kindness I have drawn you…” Jeremiah 31:3.
You are Loved!